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How the Worm Has Turned

Just a warning: the following meanderings of my sometimes-chaotic mind will include references to Shakespeare, Naz, YG and Nipsey Hussle. Over the last eight years I kept expecting President Obama to finally loose his cool, start imprisoning people for treason, and have them whisked away by extraordinary rendition for enhanced interrogation at the black ops sites Bush authorized and Trump is so eager to reopen. Like the congressman who jumped up in the middle of his state of the union speech and called him a liar, or the one who called him a tar baby, or the senator who invoked a prayer at a conservative Christian meeting that he die -- really soon, or the governor who wagged her finger in h

Congratulations America

Congratulations, Trump supporters, you wake today in victory. You feel vindicated in backing the winner, in prevailing over your adversaries, in being on the side of right. You feel that the winds of change are finally upon us, sweeping across those fruited plains and bringing with it the fresh air of a new day. You believe that the best candidate won to steer this sinking ship back to buoyancy and restore honor and dignity to its long suffering people. You know that at last this flawed democracy has finally gotten it right, and that as a result the country you know and love will finally fulfill its promise. I completely understand all of those feelings, all of those hopes and dreams and

I Want My Daughter to be a Hoochie Mama

Barbie, you know the perennial girlfriend of Ken from the Fabulous Fifties and the most successful doll of the century? Well, she’s gotten a makeover. No, not just some new clothes and a new car or a beach house or stuff, this makeover is supposed to radically reshape --- not her biologically unattainable proportions – but her image. This time Barbie has been remade in the image of Lindsay Lohan and several other scantily clad overly made up party girls. In other words, Barbie has been made over into a hoochie mama. Now haven’t we had enough of this Jon-Benet Ramsey sort of shit? Aren’t we tired of starting the sex kitten image younger and younger until they’ll start designing Pampers wi

They Gotta Pill For It

If you open any magazine, turn on any T.V. or even take public transportation, you are bombarded by messages telling you that the solution to any conceivable problem you could ever have has already been R&D’d, FDA’d packaged and delivered to your local pharmacy. They’ve got the purple pill and the little blue pill and the capsules and the liquid gels and the time release answer to all that ails you. If you’ve got nervous stomach or hay-fever or joint pain or depression or attention deficit disorder or dry eye or high blood pressure or high cholesterol or forgetfulness or premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, low arousal threshold or social anxiety disorder – they got a pill for it. I

Lie, Steal, Cheat, Kill

If you lie, you’ll steal, if you’ll steal you’ll cheat, and if you cheat you’ll kill. Or so they say but it’s not true. Take me for example, I lie all the time, hell I’m a lawyer, so basically I lie for a living. I make stuff up, all the time, like right now. But that doesn’t make me a thief. Okay, so I stole a little when I was a kid, who didn’t? Mostly petty stuff from my mother’s purse or from the drugstore – although I did go a little buck wild with some scissors in a fabric store once upon a time. Anyway, I haven’t stolen anything in decades. Not that I’d hesitate to do so again if I had to, but that’s not really stealing, it’s survival. And surely that can’t count. Of course, i

Zuckerberg Was Right

I run a search on Google and the next time I’m online I get ads popping up trying to sell me the stuff I was searching for the day before. I’m sitting at home and get a call from dial-a-nurse -- who got my name, unlisted number and my ostensibly private medical records from my employer and my insurance company -- who commences to tell me about how she can help “control” a condition that I’m not even sure I have. I’m standing on the BART train, cameras blinking red at me from all angles, only to emerge onto the street, similarly captured by the camera’s eye on every corner, at every store and from every ATM. I’m reading about how virtually all of our internet service providers, and our land

Homeland

Is it just me who cringes at the word “homeland?” And is it just me who hears the sound of jackboots trampling the lives of dissenters in its echo? The term “homeland” has been bandied about since September 11’s attack on American soil for understandable reasons. But why “homeland” and not “country” or “nation” or simply “America?” I’ll tell you why: because implicit in the term “homeland” are the imperialist aspirations of those who’ve made the unthinking repetition of the word popular. Make no mistake; America has been an Imperialist Nation from its inception. Even if you don’t count the self-righteous Manifest Destiny-driven march from coast to coast in North America, surely the acquis

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