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Take a Bow Mr. President

January 6, 2018

 

Your performance is one for the ages.  Unfortunately, that includes our current age.  As in now.

 

We have now had confirmed what we long suspected – you are a carny barker reality star seeking a wider audience, higher ratings and bigger ad revenues – too bad you’re having to ply your trade from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

 

You never wanted to be president.  You never thought you had a chance – along with the majority of the voting public.  Which is why you were so unprepared to assume office.

 

You hadn’t lined up your cabinet or staff, which is why it took you so long to get around to doing it.  You were as shocked as the rest of us, because it was never your aim or intention to actually win.

 

No, winning was a mere inconvenience, what with all the pesky questions about where your money comes from and the investigations into transactions that to you were no more than business as usual.

 

Which explains why you don’t quite know how to translate your campaign rhetoric into cohesive policy.  It explains why you’re more concerned with ratings and your “Q” likeability score than with trying to govern the country.

 

It explains why your wife won’t hold your hand in public or sleep in the same bed with you – she only agreed to campaign for you on your promise that you’d lose the election.

 

It explains why you spend more time on social media and monitoring “fake news” than executing the duties of your office.

 

And we are the victims of this publicity stunt gone awry.  Because an entertainer is all you are, but your jokes and tweets and pseudo witty repartee fall flat on the world’s stage.  Our fate is in the hands of an incompetent fake.

 

But the situation is even direr than it first appeared – we’re not just being led like rats off a cliff by a Pied Piper huckster.  Now it seems clear that you are a deranged Pied Piper at that.

 

Clues have abounded for all to see, but even your staunchest critics wanted to cut you some slack and allowed for the possibility that there was strategy beneath the insults and rants and lies and non-sequitors.

 

A quick review of your mountain of tweets reveals a man with the vocabulary of an 8 year old, the temperament of a 2 year old, the reasoning power of an infant and a sense of humor stuck in the “my dick is bigger than yours” phase (which, admittedly, appears to persist throughout adulthood for some men).

 

And to think, you are the world’s most powerful politician, with your finger poised on the button to render this world a pile of ashes.

 

So take a bow Mr. President, it’s time you bowed out.

 

 

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